Saturday, November 4, 2006

Something Amiss


I had this conversation with a friend of mine about future plans after studies. He happened to tell me that he would like to give his GRE; and is keen on going to US for future studies. When he asked me about mine, I said maybe a CAT, but no I had no plans to go to US. But this question made me a little thoughtful, a little apprehensive. It suddenly dawned upon me that I have grown now, and in a few months I will out stretching my wings and flying, finding out new destinations, exploring life. It seemed like yesterday when I just moved to my teens.After a lot of thinking I have come to the conclusion that I would not prefer to leave my country, and go out to the west. In fact what I would rather like is to go back to where I belong, my native Kerala. Sometimes I feel my childhood was incomplete when I hear my parents raving about all the things that had made their childhood so colorful. Back then studies were just a part of life. Nobody gave a damn whether you scored and topped the class or not. For them life was just having fun, swimming in the ever stretching river, climbing those mango trees, going fishing, running behind butterflies and dragon flies, getting wet in the rain, having food on banana leaf, the list is endless. Life was so much simpler and fuller because there were so many siblings in each house and it is not that none of them have come up well in life.I always wished to some more siblings. I love big happy families, on second thoughts; it would have been a burden for my parents when education and expenses are just always on the hike. If I start describing my childhood, it’ll be school, books, and studies and yes fun, but nothing as nostalgic as this. Sometimes I wish I was not from Mumbai, but instead born in a small village in Kerala. I would like to wear long skirts and half sarees with flowers on knee length thick hair, move with that tinkling sound on the feet; yes I wish my life was filled with simplicity rather than this urban complexity. It seems ironical that although I am here having the best facilities and opportunities that life could ever gift me, all I wish for is a simple life, I want a large family, with many relatives, a house with slopped roof and that ancient architecture,those made from rose wood, with lots of rooms, and secret attics, a long courtyard, jackfruit trees around ,lots of cows ,hens and goats, fresh smell of wet grass when I get up in the morning, clean air to breathe, the silence of nature broken up by the chirping of early risers, the birds and the days that seems to go on forever…...Now if you ask me what my future plans are after growing in a city life Mumbai and completing engineering, then my answer would be to go back in times TO WHERE MY ROOTS ARE! Happiness in life for me is being there for the ones I love and enjoying every moment in life rather than running in search of more worldly pleasures...... But I know it is just a dream, a fanatsy, everyone has to go with the flow of life. But it doesnt take much to imagine things that I may never get, and just smiling to myself at the very thought of it!

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